You Are an Assbutt Dean Winchester
by MishaAteMyBlog
Summary: Dean cancels dinner plans with Castiel with just one short text. Castiel sees the Impala and thinks Dean is cheating on him. They both suck at communication, almost as much as I suck at summaries.


From D (4:45 p.m.) Sorry babe, can't make 2nite.

It was now almost 9:00 p.m. and Cas has not heard anything else from his boyfriend. He thought about calling him, but couldn't help feeling a little hurt. Even after he responded to the text by asking if everything was ok, still nothing. Cas was also worried, Dean has never canceled a date before in the year that they have been dating. As a matter of fact, Dean even had to turn down a business trip so that they could celebrate their one year anniversary last month. About to break down and call Dean, his phone rang.

"Hello Gabriel."

"Hey Cassie! How's tricks with you and your boy toy?"

"Don't call Dean that. Everything is fine."

"If everything is fine, why did you answer the phone. I thought you two were on a date so you could ask him to marry you."

"I wasn't going to propose, I was going to ask him to move in with me. Dean had to cancel, but it's fine. This just gave me the opportunity to try the new vegetarian restaurant that Dean refused to go try. Wait, if you didn't think I was going to answer, why are you calling?"

"I was planning on leaving a voicemail, but I will just save it for later."

"I have to call you back." Cas quickly said as he hung up the phone.

For a minute, Cas felt a rush when he spotted the Impala next door. Whatever had kept Dean from their date, had obviously ended. Seeing Dean's car made him think 'Why didn't he call me? I could have met him there. Everyone knows that the Roadhouse has the best burgers in Lawrence.' Confused, he started walking next door. He stopped in his tracks when a beautiful, tall woman with flowing blonde hair, walked up to the Impala. His jaw dropped as he watched as she reached into the passenger seat and pulled out a jacket. He was just close enough that he could hear her talking on the phone.

"You were right Winchester, my jacket was in the car. I am on my way back in. I love you."

Suddenly he didn't know if he wanted to cry, vomit, or destroy Dean's baby (the car, not the woman).

'You have to calm down Cas, you are not a violent man,' he thought to himself. After about five minutes of deep breathing, Cas calmly walked back to his car and got in. He calmly turned the car on, practicing his breathing techniques. As the car started, the radio came on. Of course, it had to be the song that was playing the first time they spoke to each other. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe that wasn't Dean's car after all. There must be another '67 Impala in town. Hell, for all Cas knew, it could have been a '66 or '68, since he knew nothing about cars. As he sat there, deep breathing, he tried to concentrate on the song. He couldn't help but smile when he thought back to a year earlier.

Cas had been at an office party thrown by his boss for the 4th of July. He hadn't planned on going, but Mr. Adler made it quite clear that all upper management must attend. So there he sat, at the bar, talking to no one, drinking his third martini. Considering the open bar, Cas was surprised by the two seats next to him were empty. Well, they were. Suddenly, a warm, obviously tipsy, body flopped down on the stool to his right.

"Can you believe they are playing this song? I mean really? We are on a boat and they play the song from Titanic?"

Cas turned and looked at the man. "Are you talking to me?"

"You're the only one here."

"Let me rephrase that, why are you talking to me?"

"Why not?"

"I can think of a few reasons. 1) we have never spoken before. 2) You are famous for going home from these things with a different woman. 3) This one is the most important one, I am not a woman."

"Okay, first off, that is crazy talk. 1) We have talked before. That one time your mail was delivered to my office by mistake. 2) That year when I was dating Lisa, I never went home with anyone, except her. and 3) I know you aren't a woman, maybe that is why I am talking to you."

"Is that why you are talking to me? Want to show how 'open minded' you are by chatting up the token gay guy in the company?"

"Woah there buddy! You don't know a damn thing about me. For your information, I came to talk to you because I think you are cute and I wanted to get to know you better. I am now questioning my life choices though."

"I am sorry, I am just having a bad night. My boyfriend and I broke up three months ago and I am not feeling very sociable right now."

"Apology accepted, let's start over. Hi, I'm Dean. I find you very attractive and would like to get to know you better."

"Hello, Dean. I am Castiel, but you can call me Cas."

They had spent the rest of the evening talking. Cas learned that even though Dean had only been intimate with women, he had been attracted to several men throughout the years and was starting to feel like he had really missed out on at least one relationship because he was too scared to try. Dean learned that Cas had three long term relationships, all lasting one year before things fell apart. He too had missed out on at least one relationship because he was afraid to date a man claiming to be bisexual, with fear they would leave him for a woman.

When the evening ended, Cas learned how open minded Dean was, when they went back to Cas' apartment and they spent the night exploring each other's bodies. They had spent almost every evening together since.

The memory made Cas smile. That is, until the next song came on. Of course, it had to be Carrie Underwood getting back at her cheating boyfriend. He knew he should just turn off the radio, or change it to a different station, but he was frozen. As she sang about revenge, Cas started thinking about all of the work functions he had seen Dean with a different woman on his arm. Each one thinking that they were special, that they were the one to change his womanizing ways. Sure, they were all different. Some were tall, some short, some thin, some a little thicker, but most of them were blondes. He certainly did seem to have a type.

Cas popped his trunk and got out of the car. He moved as if he had no control over his body. Before he knew what was happening, he was searching his trunk for something. He wasn't even sure what he was looking for. His trunk was full of books that he was planning on donating to the local mental hospital. Then he found it. His overnight bag. As much as he would have loved to follow in Carrie Underwood's footsteps, he just couldn't hurt Baby, but he had to do something. He pulled out the white shoe polish that he had used to clean his and Dean's sneakers last weekend.

"I can not believe you would do this to me you dick." He knew he looked like a crazy person, but was hoping that venting would help him calm down. He stalked over to the Impala and suddenly drew a blank as what to do. Cooler heads prevailed. Instead of writing all over the paint, he just wrote out one sentence on the back windshield. Of course, he was sobbing and fuming, so he couldn't even think of a good insult. He wrote "You are an ASSBUTT Dean Winchester!"

Once the job was done, he started to worry that someone would see him and call the cops. He went back to his car. He was disgusted with how childish he had behaved. Suddenly, it was as if the shoe polish was burning his palm and he threw it, unfortunately his car keys were in the same hand and he threw them as well. Now he didn't know what he would do, so he climbed into the back seat, and promptly cried himself to sleep.

He woke up an hour later when his phone started to ring. This time it was Dean. He was not going to answer it, but of course he accidentally hit answer, instead of decline.

"Hello, Dean." He said in a raspy voice.

"Cas. It's about time you answered. I have been calling you for the last 20 minutes. Babe, are you ok?"

"What do you think Dean? Don't babe me."

"I think that there is something obviously bothering you and you should come over so we can talk about it."

"You would like that wouldn't you. Do you want to rub it in my face or do you want to deny it? Besides, I couldn't, even if I wanted to. Which I don't. I can't believe you would do this!"

"What are you talking about? You can't believe I would do what? I have been here all night working."

"Is that what you're calling it? Working? Who have you been working Dean? Nevermind, I don't want to know."

"Cas, babe, you aren't making any sense. Come over. We can talk about whatever is bothering you. Whatever it is you think I've done."

"I said I couldn't Dean and I can't. I accidentally threw my keys. I also said, don't babe me."

"You threw your keys? What the hell Cas? Forget it, I'm coming to you and we can discuss it when I get there. Where are you?"

"I am at the vegetarian restaurant, right next to the Roadhouse."

"I will be there in 10 minutes. Please don't leave."

As much as Cas wanted to leave, he was still too upset to drive safely, even if he could find his keys.

Fifteen minutes passed before Dean drove into the parking lot and quickly ran over to where his, obviously upset boyfriend, was leaning up against his Dodge Charger.

"Cas, babe, what is going on?"

"What do you think is going on? I told you to not babe me."

"Ok. Cas. I have no idea what is going on. What I do know is that Sammy came into town to introduce me to his fiance. They decided to go out to eat and borrowed my car to take Jessica to the Roadhouse. They got back to my house while I was on the phone with you. I would have been here sooner, but Sammy had to show me the shoe polish all over my back windshield calling me an assbutt. What the hell Cas?!Why in the hell would you do that? Yes, I know it was you. You are the only person I have ever heard use the word assbutt."

"What do you mean Sam used your car? I call bullshit. I know what I saw and what I heard. I saw a blonde woman getting her jacket out of the Impala and heard her say that she loves you."

"Now I call bullshit. There is no way Cas. The only blonde woman that would say that is my mom. and she isn't even in the state right now."

"Cas, did you hear her say 'I love you Dean'?"

"No, she just said Winchester."

"Babe, that had to be Jessica. If she was in the Roadhouse parking lot by herself, then Sammy would have insisted that she at least talk to him on the phone. Besides, I sent you a text telling you about them using the car."

"No you didn't Dean Winchester. All your text said was that you were cancelling." Cas pulled out his phone and showed Dean the single message he had received.

Dean looked stunned, so he pulled out his phone and opened the text. That is when he saw the mistake.

"Oh my god babe! I am so sorry babe. I apparently didn't hit send." He showed Cas the screen before pulling him into a tight hug. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I was going to, but then I saw your car and got too upset to talk to you. Once I calmed down a little, I got into my car to go home and that awful Celine Dion song came on and I thought about our first night and then the even worse Carrie Underwood song came on. I'm so sorry babe. After I defaced your back windshield I was so disgusted with myself that I went to throw the shoe polish and accidentally threw my keys too. All my old insecurities came flooding back."

Dean pulled Cas into a tight bear hug and kissed his temple. "Come on, I'll drive you to my house. I still have your spare keys. We will get Sam and Jess to come get your car and in the morning, we can come search for your keys alright?"

"Alright, Dean. I am sorry I jumped to conclusions. I know you would never cheat on me."

"Damn straight! Besides, after you, I could never go back to women. You are it for me. I love you, you dumbass."

"I know. I love you too assbutt."


End file.
